A Commander From a Rider
by Gray Eyed Fighter
Summary: Sequel to 'A Rider From a Lady'. Kel is now commander of the 'Queen's Hope' Riders group. She is finally coming to terms with herself and her destiny, though deep scars never really fade out. If anyone wants to ghost write this story, let me know.
1. Chapter 26

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Don't like it? Don't read it.**

**By now I'm expecting that all of my original readers and reviewers have abandoned me in disgust, so now I'm extending a greeting to a new wave of readers. I hope you like my stories.**

**Well Here you have it. The third and final instalment of my Rider Kel trilogy. It's been a long time coming, but I hope you like it. Please review.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_Ordinary Day _**by Great Big Sea (I'm keeping with the Canadian-theme)**

OoOoOoOoOoO

It was finally Midwinter, and the Eighteenth Rider Group, named 'Queen's Hope' was finally riding back to Corus on leave. They had only been out for two months to adjust themselves to life as a group. Their commanding supervisor, a man named Evin Larse had recently left them to rejoin the Seventh Riders, deeming them able to look after themselves.

To someone unfamiliar with the ways of the Queen's Riders, this was an ordinary Rider group: seven young adults riding on ponies all dressed in green and brown tunics, two men and five women.

To someone familiar with the Riders, this was a rather unusual group. There were only seven of them, in contrast to the customary eight Rider members. They were also young, looking barely out of training: the youngest was sixteen, the oldest eighteen. They were also surprisingly quiet, which was unnatural for a homecoming Rider group.

In reality, they _were_ recent trainees, they had been the remains of that year's batch of recruits, a surprisingly small amount. They were placed together in one group because they had shown tremendous teamwork and co-operation.

But what was the strangest of this group of Riders was that contrary to first view, they were not in fact silent, but bubbling with conversation. For what others couldn't realize, was that these five women and two men shared a magical bond, which connected their minds and allowed them to share thought, Gifts and converse silently.

_We're going home! _Conner's voice rang through their minds. There was a collective groan.

_We know that, you haven't quieted about it since we set out from Steadfast. Besides, only you're going home. _ Colleen snapped _ My home is far south, and we're going _away_ from Kel's home._

_I know, but I can't wait to get to the Palace._

_Me neither. _Kel agreed. _All of my squire friends are going to go through their Ordeal tomorrow. I hope they all make it. I know that they'll all make good knights._

_Well they all have my prayers, even though I've never met most of them. _Flanna spoke up, making Kel smile.

_Well you met Neal when we went to Pirate's Swoop, and then again at Steadfast. You met Merric, and Esmond as well. Brekke met Cleon and Faleron, and Conner got along with Owen well._

_Can't imagine why. _Brekke said sarcastically. _If I hear the word 'jolly' one more time, I might have to stick my dagger-_

_Please don't finish that sentence. _Quinn laughed. _Look we're getting close to the Palace. I can see Corus in the distance._

_We'd better look like a proper Rider group then. _Kel rode to the head of the line, Trysten right behind her. In name, she was the commander, and he was her second, but when they were riding out, they considered each other all equals. Everyone got a say and an opinion, and was heard, but when in a tight situation or battle, it was agreed that Kel would lead them without argument.

Most of the other soldiers, Riders, knights, and men of the King's Own had already returned, if they were being given leave. The Eighteenth Group had to stay behind to scout out a remaining bandit group, which had been effectively dealt with. Unfortunately, the prisoners had been brought back to Corus, and Kel's group was required to attend their hanging. This was to be Kel's first attended execution.

"Ho there! Who be you? What business have you in the city?" A call reached their ears. They had reached Corus' walls. Kel was puzzled for a minute, then realized that they hadn't raised their banner, and with the dirt of the road, it was impossible to tell who they were.

She raised her hand, and lowered it to the side. The group stopped. A flick of her wrist and Flanna raised their red banner, which sported a gold horse with their group number on it.

Even with their connection, they were taught hand signals and used them regularly. They were quick and direct, and when they rode with squads of the King's Own, which they often did, it enabled them to communicate between groups.

"Keladry of Mindelan, sir. Commander of the Queen's Riders, Eighteenth group. We're here on leave."

"Very well. Open the gate!" this call was directed to a man on the ramparts beneath him. Kel sighed and passed through.

They made their way carefully though the streets of Corus. It was Midwinter, so the streets were teeming with men and women of every rank. Most made way for the official looking Riders. As much as it annoyed Kel to have to parade through the city, it was proper for them to do. The king maintained that it increased peasants' confidence when they saw the squads a groups proudly walking through their streets.

Once they reached the palace gates, they were accosted again.

"We're here to pass through to the Riders' barracks." the man on the wall nodded, and the gate was raised. Kel and her group rode through, and entered the world of nobles and politics. Now their every move would be watched.

She heard a number of her fellow Riders sigh in relief as the gate was closed behind them. Colleen let out a peal of laughter as they sped towards the stables.

Kel stabled Peachblossom, who she had been riding, and took care of him. Then she went over to Quinn, who had been leading the ponies in the train, and took off Hoshi and Nightflower's halters, stabling her other mounts next to her strawberry roan.

When they were all finished, the seven of them left the stable yard and started towards the mess hall as the midday bell rang.

"Kel! Kel! Over here!"

"Kel!" she heard a number of voices calling her. Turning, the girl in question saw three women and four men walking towards them.

Kel waved to her friends, who smiled and continued to their rooms, while Kel ran down the hill, shrieking wildly, something very un-Kel-like.

"Mama, Papa, Anders, Inness, Orie, Adie" she paused, "Conal." She hadn't seen any of her family since her page training had begun, eight years previous. Inness and Conal, she hadn't seen since she was eight. Reaching them, she threw herself into her eldest brother's arms, a little awkwardly. Anders still used a walking stick, and was shorter than his little sister.

Kel hugged each of her family members in turn. When she reached Conal she hesitated, but her brother quickly scooped her in his arms and hugged her.

"I'm sorry Adie, I've gone and got dirt on your good dress I should have cleaned up before seeing you."

"Nothing on it, Keladry." Adalia was a cheerful as ever as the family began to make their way to the Palace. "We waited for you all morning. Even Conal and Inness came out to see you." That was met with remark of "Hey", and "I would have come out anyway."

"Well Keladry, you've gone and become a hero right under our nose." Anders said lightly, "When I heard that a certain Keladry was a commander in the Riders, I could hardly believe my ears."

"We're proud of you Kel, you have no idea." Ilane said, squeezing her daughter's hand.

Kel happily made her way to the palace, chatting with her family.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**This is going to be a sort of parallel to Lady Knight, only with Kel as a Rider instead. Don't worry, I _will_ brin back her episode with the Chamber of the Ordeal. The timeline will be off for this story, because Kel's being kicked out will have an impact on further events. For example, there never needed to be a trial for Lalasa's kidnapping, so the King could turn to something else first.**

**Anyways...**

**peace**

**Alanna**


	2. Chapter 27

**DISCLAIMER: I won't put one in! You can't make me! Come my fellow authors, let us strike up a revolution against the Powers That Be. Onwards comrades! (sincerest apologies for anyone that may offend). Why do I have to go out of my way to put in something that any smart reader should know on their own?**

**Shout outs go to 'SpectralLady' for being the FIRST reviewer of this new story AND for reading the Author's Note at the beginning. You rock! A note to all other readers, you should read A/N at the start and end of people's stories, they're there for a reason. Aww, who am I kidding, the only people reading that remark are ones who already follow it.**

**I got nothing else for now.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_I Got Life_** from the musical 'Hair' (my school recently put on a production of it, and my boyfriend was Claude, the main character. It's worth it to see the movie, or the play if you get a chance)**

**Anyways... peace**

OoOoOoOoO

Kel, her sisters and her mother parted way with the men in the corridor outside their rooms, and the tired commander followed her female relatives into Ilane's room.

"Now why did you bring me here?" Kel asked, wanting desperately to sit down, but afraid to ruin the chairs with dirt. Ilane turned to face her, hands on hips.

"Is a mother not allowed to see the daughter she has seen neither hide nor hair of in eight years?" Kel nodded sheepishly. "Good. Now we have made a request with Buri, and you will stay here in the Palace with us over Midwinter. We thought that it would be better for you to stay with your family. We haven't spoken in a long time."

"Mama, I think I should stay with my group. They'll be needing me."

"Keladry, I believe they will survive a week without their commander. Besides you can still train with them during the day for a time."

"Please stay with us Kel." Oranie pleaded. "We've missed our little sister. And if you don't stay, who then will I talk to about my wedding?" She added slyly.

Kel's cry of delight, "You're to be married?", was muffled by Adie's cry of indignation, "You _do _have another sister, one who is _already _married, and I can tell you all you need to know!" The three of them burst out laughing. Kel had not been particularly close to her siblings, but nonetheless, they were family, and it felt good to laugh with her family again.

"Now Keladry," Ilane's voice was businesslike. "It's high time you washed the dirt from your travels. I had the maids draw a bath for you, so go and wash up before the midday meal." Kel stood up to embrace her mother one more time, but remembered herself just in time. It would have been a pity to mar Ilane's beautiful red dress.

Kel sighed in appreciation as she sank into the warm water. It felt good to clean herself with soft scented soaps, instead of the brown lye she was accustomed to using with the Riders. When she stepped from the bath, she was content to see the dirt remaining in the bath. For the first time in weeks she was clean.

Quickly, she dried herself with the linen cloth, and stepped into the clean breastband and loincloth left out for her by the maid. On top, she slipped a petticoat, and walked back into the front room. Adie had changed to a clean dress and was sitting with Oranie on their mother's bed. Ilane herself was standing by the window lost in thought.

"Here Kel," Oranie held out a plain blue shift and a blue woollen dress embroidered in cream at the high neck and cuffs. Kel smiled, seeing the high neck and long wide sleeves of the dress. Even after eight years, her mother knew what she would and would not wear. Quickly Kel slipped both garments over her head, and smoothed the split skirt of the overdress.

"Lovely Keladry," Ilane smiled. "Now let us go to eat. You and your sisters will go to the general mess hall. Your father and I were invited to dine with the Baron of Jesslaw." Kel's heart rose. Maybe Owen was here. She didn't know the round-faced boy as well as the others, but she liked him a great deal.

"Bye Mama, come on Kel." Adie tugged her arm as the three girls hurried to the mess hall. The bell had long since rung, so most occupants of the castle would be already there. They would have to hurry if they wanted to sit together.

As they entered, Kel was surprised to see how many men had returned for Midwinter celebrations, even with the Scanran War in progress. True to their suspicions, there were not three seats together. With a sad smile, Oranie and Adie went to sit with a few other ladies at a table, and Kel looked around for any extra space, that wasn't at a table of pages.

"Kel! Kel!'

"Keladry of Mindelan, look over this way."

"Hey Kel on your left!"

Mixed shouts reached her ears. Turning, Kel saw Neal frantically waving in her direction. Sitting behind him were Merric, Seaver, Esmond and Faleron. To Kel's horror, sitting next to Neal, arm wrapped around his waist was Tanwyn of Sebell, one of her convent year mates. Her low necked red dress all but gave away her pastimes. To add to Kel's horror, Kieran of Syrigane and her Convent friend Aimee were respectively latched to Merric and Faleron, though Kel saw Kieran shoot Tanwyn a jealous glance.

"Yes Keladry," Tanwyn spoke in a honeyed tone. Kel had forgotten about this girl and how much she hated her. "Please come and sit with us. I'm sure dear Nealan can move over to make some room." Kel smiled inwardly when she saw Neal flinch at the use of his full name. She was debating whether to run and skip the meal or bite her tongue and sit when a merciful voice came to her rescue.

"Kel, there's room here. Come and sit." Kel turned quickly and sat beside the owner of the voice she recognized, across the width of the hall. She and her Rider group had on several occasions travelled with Dom's squad of men from the King's Own, and they had all grown friendships with the men. Kel sat between Dom and Wolset, waving at Lerant of Eldorne across from her. Flyndan glanced at her and returned to his meal, but Kel had expected no less from the captain.

"I saw you there, and figured you needed a break from the court ladies and Meathead." Dom said to her.

"Our Kel's no court flirt." Wolset jokingly placed his arm around Kel's shoulders. "She's a right fine warrior and commander she is. Right Keladry?" Kel laughed and shrugged his arm off.

"Enough with the complements, you'll be turning my head now." she laughed. "And Neal looks none too happy about our friend, Tanwyn, on his arm. So cut the remarks Dom. Send him a little sympathy." She looked up in time to see Neal send a pleading and slightly angry look in her direction.

The rest of their meal passed quickly, the men all laughing all around her, especially when Tanwyn had tried to kiss Neal, who nearly fell from his seat as a result. Kieran on her way out with Merric conveniently elbowed Tanwyn in the face. Kel could barely contain her laughter. She was only interrupted when Orie and Adie came by to say their goodbyes as they left with friends.

When she was finished eating, Kel left the hall, waving to Neal and Esmond, who were looking quite uncomfortable. She ran out, and hurried to the Riders' barracks.

_Hey Colleen! _She called out. The Rider companions had extended their limits to nearly five miles from each other.

Colleen's voice was tired. _What do you want now, Kel?_

_What were you doing?_

_Sleeping, as was the rest of the group. Come and join us._

_Sure you don't want to came and practice with me?_

_NO! Kel we slept hardly any time while we were away, cut us some time._

_Fine then, I'm coming to the barracks._ Kel sighed as she realized that Colleen had fallen asleep again. She hurried to the Riders' barracks, a difficult feat with a dress she was unused to wearing. Arriving there, she tore up the stairs to her rooms. As a commander, and with the diminished ranks, she had a room to herself. Riders in a group each slept two in a room.

Quickly Kel changed out of her dress and into a shirt, breeches and a green tunic and a blue cloak. Taking her glaive from its hook beside the door (servants had come in previously to bring her gear to her room) she left for the practice courts, far too awake now for any sleeping.

OoOoOoOoO

**Heya,**

**Summatives are starting up now, so my updates might be fewer and further between, but I'm really trying to finish up this story. I promised that I wouldn't give up on it, and I won't.**

**By popular demand, at the start of the next chapter, I'm going to write in point form the important bits of the previous story, just to catch everyone up.**

**So that you don't panic, I promise that next chapter starts the big events. Stuff will start happening, I just need to get some other things cleared up.**

**By the way, Sam (The ORIGINAL Meathead) What's the deal with your story? I really liked it and you seem to have left it.**

**Shout outs go to Stealth Jade Jr. Kay you are the best beta I could ask for. Thank you so much, you rock!**

**peace**

**Alanna**


	3. Chapter 28

**DISClAIMER: It's amazing how something this small can make me so bitter. I mean it's not like anyone's actually asked me about whether it's mine, and it would take a real idiot to think that I actually owned the rights to any of this.**

**i just had a question. In a few fanfics, I've seen people write that Kel has an older older sister, named Patricine (or something to that effect). This has reappeared too often to be coincidence. I'm wondering if it ever mentioned that, because I honestly don't remember that character.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_Seasons of Love _**by Jonathan Larson (from the musical RENT). i saw it on Broadway, and i'm psyched to see it when the movie comes out.**

**Peace out.**

OoOoOoOoOoO

The next morning, Kel made her way to Neal's rooms. She had slept that night in her parents' apartments, enjoying a short time with her family before she would have to go back out to the northern borders.

She was worried for her friends. Merric had been knighted the previous morning, and it was Neal's turn that night for his Ordeal of Knighthood.

When she came to Neal's room, adjacent to the Lioness', her friend wasn't there. She found him aimlessly skimming through volumes in one of the libraries His eyes weren't focusing on the words and Kel could see that he was worried.

"Neal?" She said from the doorway. He leapt to his feet as though stung.

"Kel!" he ran to her side and embraced his friend. "We're so happy to see you, it's been too long. We were afraid that you would get too involved with the Riders and forget all about us back in the world of knight training. I'm afraid, Kel I don't know what my father would do if I didn't pass the Ordeal. There's been a knight in the Queenscove..."

"... House for centuries." Kel finished for him, grinning. "Come now Nealan, it won't be as bad as you think. I'm sure you'll make a wonderful knight." Neal visibly relaxed with the comment, though Kel could see that he was still tense. "Come with me. I'll Take your mind off of it." She grabbed the book right out of Neal's hands and dropped it on the table. She tugged on his arm and dragged him, protesting, to the indoor practice courts where she thrust a wooden practice sword into his hands.

They warmed up together and sparred for the next two hours straight. A few friends came by in that time and practised with them. Kel had better technique than Neal, it was obvious from all of her time spent training while he read books instead, but Neal was stronger than her physically by a long shot. He managed to overpower her with sheer force and bring her to her knees in eight matches out of ten. The last two were won by Kel as Neal's strength faded but her skill held true.

"Now there's the mark of a good swordsman." Neal gasped as Kel's sword grazed his throat. He dropped his own in surrender and Kel offered him a hand. "You need to be able to last right until the end of a long fight." He stood up. "No point being skilled if you meet someone comparable to you when you don't have the endurance to last him right out to the end. Now if you don't mind, my lady." he mock bowed to her, "I will return to my rooms and my dear knight mistress and I will clean myself up for my midday meal."

"Go ahead, Neal." Kel said, picking her sword back up. "I'll stay here for a spell and practise."

"Suit yourself Keladry." Neal put away his sword and turned to leave. "I hope you'll be in the Chapel tomorrow morning." he said softly before closing the door to the practise courts behind him.

Kel took up her sword and faced off against one of the practise dummies. She tried a few passes with her right arm, but found that it was stiff from training with Neal, and she didn't have the proper co-ordination. She remembered how the Lioness had told her about her page training and how she had learned to fight with her left arm as well as her right, 'just in the event that you are unable to use your right'.

Kel transferred the sword to her left arm and too an opposite stance to her original. She tried a swing at the dummy, but her aim was so poor that the sword glanced off of the arm instead of the head she had been aiming at. Her second attempt sent her off balance and she stumbled. A hand caught her before she fell. Kel turned. Who had come into the court without her hearing them? She came to face with a set of sapphire eyes and dark hair. Stumbling backwards, Kel bowed clumsily. Remembering herself, she curtsied quickly as well.

"Your Majesty!" She exclaimed, "I didn't see you there."

King Jonathan laughed, "Come now Keladry, I did learn a few things when I was training as a boy. I'm not an old man yet." Kel hid her blush. This was the king of Tortall, the man who had ordered her expulsion from page training all those years ago, the man she had vowed she would serve and hate. At a distance, when he was saying prayers, giving orders or addressing the people she disliked his way of acting, she hated him. Here, standing before her, laughing and joking with her she felt differently about King Jonathan. She could see that under the propriety he expressed as a monarch, he was just a man trying to be peaceful and accommodate everyone he could.

"I apologize, Your Majesty." she bowed, "I didn't mean to imply-"

"Don't worry yourself now Keladry. Speak normally, there's no need to stand at attention. I don't like it when people bow to me after everything I say. Now about that left hand. I assume you know about how the Lioness learned to fight left handed?" Kel nodded, "Let me tell you, learning left handed swordplay was the best thing Alanna ever did. It saved her life once when she was faced off against a full Tusaine knight as my squire. The man had cut her right arm and she couldn't wield a blade. She beat a full grown knight with her left hand. It's good for you to be practising that. Now in the meantime, show me your skills with your right hand. i want to know how good my kingdom's Protector is.

Kel's eyes grew wide at the name. How did King Jonathan know about that. She thought about protesting his choice of a duel after she had been training all morning, but caught herself, realizing that this could be a test for her. Warriors were meant to be able to fight even tired. King Jonathan was testing her to make sure that she had the stamina to be a fighter. Grimly she picked up her sword and tossed another practice sword to the king.

"If it's any encouragement, I haven't duelled anyone in well over five years." King Jonathan laughed. "So you'll have to go easy on this old man. But I promise I won't have you executed if you beat me." Kel nodded, not sure how to respond to that. both of them faced off.

The fight lasted a long time. Kel was exhausted, but King Jonathan, even having not fought anyone in years was still skilled with a blade and pushed her every which way. Every opportunity she saw to get a hit, he always seemed to be one step a head of her, blocking with ease. She was parrying his own blows only by a small margin. In the end, they had to draw, both having a blade at the other's throat at the same time.

Kel was breathing heavily, as was the king. They both cleaned and put away their swords and sat down on a bench in the corner. King Jonathan turned to Kel after they sat down.

"Keladry, I must admit, there was a reason I came to find you. I must speak with you without all of my advisors knowing." he hesitated, searching for a way to phrase his thoughts. "I know that you entered the Chamber." Kel gasped. Had the Riders told him?

"Your Majesty, I had no choice, it was drawing me-"

"Yes, I understand." Jonathan waved his hand to sit Kel back down. In her distress she had sprung to her feet. "The Chamber came to my dream and told me what it was you saw. Now as you muct understand, i am faced with a dilemma." Kel looked puzzled, Jonathan continued. "You see by any of our old laws, you would a be a knight, having survived the Chamber of the Ordeal. Now I could have you knighted publicly, but then the conservatives would get angry that you could survive when many grown men haven't." He put up a hand to silence Kel's protests. "No, listen to me, Keladry. I know that you believe that I was wrong kicking you out of your training. i know that some women are just as capable and strong as most men. I have Alanna to prove that. The only thing standing in my way of letting you be a lady knight is the influence of the conservatives. I cannot afford to have a civil war on my hands, and there are too many powerful ones to overrule them. If you are a leader, Keladry, you will understand that sometimes you must go against your own beliefs or compromise, so as to satisfy if not content everyone around you."

Kel's eyes were downcast. She felt ashamed that she had ever hated this man for throwing her out. She held no like for the king, but she felt that she had been unjust in her hatred of him. "So that's why I left." She said softly.

"Yes it is. Now Keladry, you must tell no one of your encounter with the Chamber, only your Rider group, if you must. Especially Alanna must never know of this."

"Why?"

Jonathan sighed, "Alanna is set in her thought and her ways. Often she will refuse to acknowledge any other beliefs than hers, and she will not compromise. If she learns about his, she will force me into knighting you publicly and making an enemy of the conservative nobles. I cannot afford for that to happen, and if I refuse, she will leave. With this war going on, I can't afford to lose any of my knights. You must understand this Keladry. Alanna is stubborn and unrelenting." his voice changed, he seemed thoughtful. "It's why I couldn't bring myself to marry her. SHe would not have been a good Queen of the kingdom, she would have caused strife between the nobles with her beliefs." he seemed to realize himself and spoke clearly, "Understand, Keladry, you cannot tell anyone of this, not your best squire or knight friends." Kel nodded. "Good."

"Thank you, Your Majesty for telling me all of this." Kel bowed and turned to leave.

"Wait Keladry." Jonathan had a strange expression in his eyes. It was one of amusement and defiance. "Between you and me, I think you would have made a good knight and a good leader of others. In fact I believe you'll be content with your next Rider group placement after Midwinter festivals." he smiled, then his expression grew solemn. "Now I want you to kneel." Kel looked confused, but complied. King Jonathan took her sword and held it out above her head. "We can't have anything official, but you _did_ survive your Ordeal. The Gods won't allow you to go unrewarded." He voice was calm and official sounding. "Do you, Rider Keladry of Mindelan know the Code of Chivalry?"

Kel nodded, "Yes I do."

"Do you swear to uphold these laws and values in every circumstance?"

"Yes, your Majesty."

"Will you serve the kingdom of Tortall in war and in peace, as a Rider and a knight?"

"Yes I will." Kel said confidently.

"Then arise, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan and take your sword with which you will protect your people. May Mithros and the Goddess look fondly on you and guide you through your troubles."

Kel stood and took the sword offered to her by King Jonathan. She bowed to her king, trying desperately and failing to hide her smile. Her dream had finally come true, and in a way she would never have imagined. It didn't matter that no one would know about his. She had proven to herself and to her king that she could do this. That was all that mattered to her.

King Jonathan smiled at her and clapped her on the shoulder. "Well done Keladry. I'm proud of you, really I am. You didn't give up, even when your dream was thrown back in your face. i wish the kingdom had more like you." Kel blushed. This was too much. The king was proud of her. She would have rather heard it from Alanna, buri, or Queent Thayet, but the king was a good man himself.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." she bowed.

"Now you should be getting to dinner with your parents. I believe they are expecting you. And tomorrow after your friend Neal's shield is earned, your group will see me, Burriam and Raoul to discuss your new assignment. You might be happy about this one. Now remember that none of these past events leaves this court." Kel nodded. "Thank you, Keladry. Now I must be going. I believe Thayet is expecting me. Goodbye." He nodded to her and left.

Kel stood in a daze for a few minutes before leaving the court and walking to her parents' rooms. _This was an interesting day._ She smiled to herself.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:**

**Bit of a short chapter. I'm getting a bit of writer's block, and I really can't think of what else to write. Besides I want to get this up as fast as possible. Sorry Katie, I know I'm bypassing you, but i promise I haven't forgotten about you, next chapter i promise.**

**Which excuse should I use? i was away all summer, school work in my last year is up to my ears, I have outside commitments also up to my neck, my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer or I just broke up with the guy I'm in love with for something entirely my fault and stupid? Take your pick, any one of them.**

**Peace out**

**Alanna**

**P.S. i wonder how many people have abandoned the thought of getting a new chapter?**


	4. Chapter 29

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Don't like it? Don't read it.**

**I have nothing really to say here except: What was i thinking? You'll see what I mean.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_Maybe Katie_** by the Barenaked Ladies**

**peace out**

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kel returned to the Rider's barracks that afternoon after bathing in her parents' room and having tea with Yuki, Shinko and the Yamani ladies. She still had not quite collected her thoughts on what had happened to her that day. She knew that King Jonathan was right in telling her to keep his words to herself, but she couldn't help but think about what might have happened if she had trained for her actual knighthood. King Jonathan then would be knighting her properly in front of all of the nobles, instead of in secret.

"I'm still a knight in the eyes of the king, and it doesn't matter who knows it and who doesn't." she reasoned to herself, walking through the snow from the palace to the barracks.

Most of her resentment for the King had diminished after their meeting, which frustrated Kel. She understood everything that he had said, and she sympathized with him. After having sat through negotiations in the Yamani Islands with her father, she knew enough about trying to please everyone, and satisfying as many as possible. What frustrated her was that now that she knew and understood the King's reasoning, she no longer had someone to blame for her failure. She only really realized then how easy it was for her to pass the blame to one person, and act as though it was all their fault. She knew now that perhaps King Jonathan was not as bad a man as she had thought.

"Kel, we've missed our commander lately." Colleen and Quinn were in the mess hall, eating their dinner together. Colleen continued, "Brekke and Flanna are coming down now. Trysten and Conner went out riding and should be back soon." She spoke quickly. Kel smiled.

"Well have a good Midwinter you two." she said. "I'm going to be spending it with my family at the Palace. My friend Neal is going through his Ordeal tonight." she laughed nervously, "but he'll be fine. I just need to speak to Brekke and Flanna, so I'll catch them upstairs." She left quickly, leaving the two others to themselves. If they were just eating, Kel thought, then she was a Stormwing.

Flanna and Brekke were sitting together in Flanna's room. Flanna shared with an older Rider woman, Miri, who was a new trainer for the older Rider groups. She was getting too old to be a proper Rider, so she worked on the affairs out of Corus. Flanna did not mind too much, she was a nice woman, and was also rumoured to be betrothed to Evin Larse, the commander of the Seventh Rider Group; she often spent her time with him, which gave Flanna a room to herself.

"Kel, you're back!" Brekke called out, seeing Kel in the doorway. "Come sit with us!"

"I'm sorry, but I need to go. I'm spending the week with my family. My friend Neal is going through his Ordeal tonight, and I think that I should be there to see him knighted." The others nodded, understanding.

"That's great, Kel. You need to spend time with your family. We know you haven't seen them in a long time." Flanna smiled at her. "Was there something you wanted from us?"

"We're getting out new assignment tomorrow. I'll get it from Buri and Raoul." The other two nodded. "This time in a week we'll be out on our new mission." She smiled, but Flanna and Brekke groaned. "What is it?"

"Well, it only seems like we're leaving right after we get back from our last mission. This is our leave and we're leaving right away." Flanna sighed.

Kel nodded in agreement. "You know that we have to go out. If we don't, then the Scanrans will take us over in the north. You should get some sleep. I don't want my Riders falling asleep on the road." The other two laughed and nodded. "I should be going." Kel nodded to them and left the room.

Going to her own room, she groaned at the sight of a stack of parchment on her desk. The one part of being a commander that she hated was the massive amount of paperwork. It seemed that their group couldn't make any move without her having to write a fully detailed report for the King. She sighed and promised herself to finish it before leaving Corus again.

She took off her breeches and tunic and changed into a light brown dress that her mother had picked out for her. It was plain, not the fancy type of any of the noble ladies, but had a neat tight waist and a full skirt. It was a perfect touch of girlishness for Kel. She fastened her new wine coloured cloak around her shoulders and pulled the wide hood over her head. She then quickly left the Riders' barracks for the palace. It had just begun to snow again, adding to the thick layer of snow already on the ground. As an afterthought, making her way through the grounds, Kel connected with the others.

_Remeber everyone, we get our new assignment tomorrow morning. Be at the throne room by the tenth bell._

A chorus of _Yes Kel _ and _I'll be there_ met her and she smiled. The Rider group did not care that she was their commander. Rather than resenting her for her position, they fully supported her and were relieved often to have someone to count on in case of emergency. Often, as Kel found out, it was reassuring to know that someone was looking out for you. Sometimes, when faced with a band of raiders or bandits to fight, she wished to have someone to rely on to make decisions and take command for a moment.

_Keladry, you must return before you leave. _ The unearthly voice of the Chamber filled her mind. _Soon you must return. I have more to tell you. You must face your task ahead and follow the path of the gods. It is time for you. _As quickly as the voice came, it also left her.

Puzzled, Kel continued to the palace. Why was the Chamber taking a sudden interest in her? Then she remembered something. Lady Alanna had once told her of her years as a squire. She had been often visited by a mysterious woman, unearthly. The Great Mother Goddess had chosen her to protect. Baron George was rumoured to be under the guidance of a less prominent trickster, and it was well known that Daine the Wildmage was a child of deities. Was it possible that the Chamber, a god itself had chosen her? She froze in her tracks at the thought.

A laughing voice filled her mind. _Very good, Keladry, I knew you were smart. Though unlike my cousin and her heroine, the Lioness, I am not here to help you in your task. I will only guide you and set you back on your path. _Kel shivered. The voice was cold and burning hot all at the same time. It seemed to contain all space, all time, and all matter in its range. She couldn't explain exactly what the voice sounded like: male, female, young, old. It was all of these and none of these at the same time. _Your task you must complete on your own. Come to me and i shall explain why the gods must intervene in this matter._

Kel stood still for a moment, until she was sure that the Chamber was gone, the continued to the palace. She made her way to her parents' rooms, but was stopped halfway when she was knocked over by a running squire exiting in a hurry from on of the adjacent rooms. It took her a moment to register the green eyes staring transfixed at her.

"Kel, I'm sorry, but my Ordeal's soon, and I don't know where to go or what to do. I don't think I'm going to pass. I know I'm not going to pass. What I know is that I'm going mad. I can't focus, I can't sleep, I know that I'm not going to survive this. Squires have died before. _Died_ doing this, and I don't think I can take it if I join them. Kel, I don't want to die now, there are so many things I need to do, I can't handle this."

She grasped his flailing hands in her own and squeezed them. With a slight shock, she noticed that the fluttering feeling in her stomach vanished when she held his hand. All she felt for Neal seemed to be concern and sympathy. Their time apart seemed to have quelled her feelings for her. The fluttering that she had felt at their first reunion had only been excitation at meeting him once again after so long.

"Neal, I promise that you will survive." she squeezed his hands reassuringly. "You will be a great knight and you will be remembered. You were a great page and squire, and there is no reason why you will not pass your Ordeal." he smiled then lowered his eyes and leaned forward. He kissed the top of her head.

"Kel, I don't know what I would ever do without you. You're the best friend I could ever ask for." Instead of feeling elated as she knew she would have only a few weeks ago, Kel only felt a sense of satisfaction at his touch. She closed her eyes and smiled. A moment later she felt a strange sensation on her lips. It took her a moment to realize that Neal was kissing her full on the mouth.

In a flash, her eyes flew open and she stepped backwards, only to realize that in her stupor, Neal had placed his arms around her waist and held her firmly. She couldn't get out of his grip.

"Neal!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing?" With her Yamani speed, she pulled his arms off of her hips and pushed him away, taking a step backwards.

"Kel," his emerald green eyes shone with fear and longing. "I love you Kel. I wanted you to know that in case i die in the Chamber." Kel's eyes had grown wide. She had had no experience in these matters before and did not know how to react. The Daughters of the Convent had always told the ladies that a man is never to kiss a lady on the mouth unless said lady is his wife. She panicked, for a moment thinking that the Daughters would be coming to find her any moment to chastise her for this indiscretion.

"Neal, you don't know what you're talking about. This is your fear speaking through you only. Now you should calm down and go down to the Chapel to meet Lady Alanna and pass your Ordeal." She took a step back, but he only followed her with two steps forward. She found herself backed up against the wall. "Neal, please..."

He took one more step forward and pressed his lips against hers again. Kel pulled away again. Kissing Neal was like kissing her own brother: it felt morally wrong to do and she couldn't explain why.

"Kel, please, I need someone with me right now. I love you. You're my best friend and the only one who understands me." he murmured, opening his eyes to gaze into her own. Something inside Kel softened. She hesitated for a moment.

He hesitation was all it took for Neal to kiss her eagerly once again. Kel, though she still felt no romantic interest in the green eyes healer, relaxed in his grip. She knew that she could do much worse than a man who respected her and understood her. There were far less desirable matches that she could have found herself in.

Neal pushed her through the door to his own room without her taking any notice. She vaguely felt herself sit down on his bed, and a voice in the back of her mind was reminding her that she was in a very indecent position. She pushed the voice away into her mind, but it returned more and more insistently as Neal pressed her closer to him and slid his hands to her waist. She tensed for a moment, then relaxed. He then began unlacing her bodice slowly.

It took Kel several seconds to realize what he was doing. Her eyes snapped open and she jerked away from him, panicked. Her bodice was completely unlaced and she was garbed only in a breastband from her waist up. Furious with herself for getting so carried away, Kel stood up and backed up to the closed door, averting her eyes from Neal's face, She fumbled for the lacing of her bodice and with trembling hands, clumsily retied her dress.

"Kel-" Neal started but Kel cut him off.

"No Neal, this is enough. You do not know what you feel right now. You do not love me, all you want is someone to be with before your Ordeal. You only want me because I was the first woman you saw and you are afraid of not returning from the Chapel." He Yamani mask was in place and her voice was calm and even. "You need to go now and pass your Ordeal. Then you will realize your real feelings for me, and they are not this. I will see you tomorrow morning after your Ordeal, Nealan." Without waiting for a response, Kel left the room and closed the door behind her. She continued along the hallway to her sisters' rooms and knocked.

Oranie opened the door and ushered her inside. Kel smiled at her sister, not letting any of her confusion show up on her face. She ate her evening meal with her sisters. They spoke of trivial matters, love and fashion. Orie spoke excitedly of her wedding, and Adie gave her own advice and told stories of her first weeks as a new bride. Kel enjoyed her time with her sisters. She had realized before that although she was not a fluttering court lady and was not interested in trivial matters on a daily basis, it was fun for her to occasionally spend her time chatting idly with other girls about matters that did not involve politics or wars or death.

The next morning, Kel woke early and dressed in one of Orie's midnight blue gowns and cloak. Without waking her sisters, she crept from the rooms and hurried to the lower level of the palace. Quietly she entered the Chapel of the Ordeal.

The door of the Chamber was closed and Neal was already inside. Many people including Duke Baird, Domitan, Lady Alanna and Lord Raoul of Goldenlake were already seated on the benches, silently awaiting Neal's result. As the heir of a grand house, Neal had a greater audience than most other squires had had. Kel wished with a pang of longing as she seated herself next to Lady Alanna that she had been the one in the Chamber and that these people had been there for her. With a sigh, she realized that her dream was lost for good.

She turned her head to face the door and slipped into memories as she waited for Neal to return to them.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

**TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:**

**There is your romance clip. Are you happy? What the hell was I thinking? I think I may have to rewrite this chapter without the Kel/Neal bit. So please review properly, I really need to know if this is good or not. I'm not really that good at writing romance, so I'd appreciate feedback. Let me rephrase that: I'm not good at writing romantic encounters. When I want to write about feelings, emotions from a distance, that's fine (see my short one shots) but when it comes to an actual encounter, I don't know how much description to put in, what's too graphic, what's not enough, whether it seems real. The one thing that bothers me in romance stories is when the author has written a very graphic sex scene, but it is very obvious that the author has never had sex before. If you've never experienced something before, then be abstract about it or better yet: don't write about it at all, but don't try to bluff your way through something like a sex scene, where you're very graphic but not very accurate.**

**I've got to go**

**peace out**


	5. Chapter 30

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Don't like it? Don't read it.**

**Has anyone seen the movie 'Serenity' or watched the show 'Firefly'? I was just introduced to it by my cousin, I had never heard of either before and now I absolutely love the show (even though it only ran for one season) and the film. Just a little quirk of mine.**

**Here's two chapters at once to make you lot happy. Nothing more to say here, too damn lazy to think of something more to tell you lot.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_A Little Less Sixteen Candles a Little More 'Touch Me' _**by Fall Out Boy**

**Peace out**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sixteen year old Keladry of Mindelan wandered the corridors of the Convent aimlessly. A faint smile graced her lips at the knowledge that she would be leaving soon for Corus. She wondered what had happened to all of her old friends. Were they still squires or had some dropped out? Would they remember her when she saw them? All of these thoughts were running through her mind over and over again.

Her year of ladies in training had significantly diminished since she had first arrived. When she first came to the Convent, there were at least ten eligible ladies in her year; now as they prepared to leave in a few months, there were only five. Marriage had taken the others as early as at fourteen years old.

Kel shuddered when she remembered Ophelia of Naxen who had been betrothed since the time she was born and was married off two years before just after her fourteenth birthday. Ophelia had only just come into her monthlies and her breasts were not fully grown yet. Her uncle, Sir Gareth of Naxen, had arranged the betrothal and her parents had waited only long enough that Ophelia could bear children before sending her off. It was a common strategy of parents who had sickly daughters. They married them off as soon as possible so as to produce an heir quickly. In the event that the girl died, at least they would have a family tie to the other house and a grandchild to inherit. Ophelia had been a pale, fragile girl who often fell ill and was weakened. She was still a pale fragile woman but now was married and had borne two children by the age of sixteen.

Kel could not imagine herself at her age already having mothered two children. She doubted whether any man would want to marry her at all. Her name and reputation preceded her, and she had no title or wealth to inherit. She had nothing to offer a potential suitor.

She continued her stroll through the corridors stiffly, in slight discomfort from the tight-waisted dress that she was wearing. At the end of their training, the older ladies were made to wear rich elegant dresses on a daily basis to prepare themselves for palace life. In their first years of training, which began officially at the age of ten, the girls wore a uniform every day of a plain blue dress. For evening meals, they wore colourful rich dresses of their choice. The middle aged girls, third year to seventh year wore with their uniform a surcoat in different colours to indicate their year. Third years were green, fourth midnight blue, fifth brown, sixth yellow and seventh white. in the final months of training, the ladies wore palace dresses every day for lessons and meals. These dresses were stiff and hot: tight waists long full skirts, low necks and heavily embroidered fabrics.

Kel found herself at the door to the stables, thinking that she might want to take a ride that afternoon. The Daughters had given the ladies an entire day off and this would be the first time in weeks that she had no punishments during her days off. She removed the pins from her hair and let it stream down her back. It was awkward for her to ride side-saddle with her hair in a heavy plait. Entering the stables, however, her eyes met a sight that surprised her.

Standing together in one of the stalls was a man she did not know, a noble by his clothing with long blonde hair and blue eyes, and Lady Brianna of Mountain's Peak: a girl from her own year. They were gazing into each other's eyes with their hands tightly clasped. He said something to her softly then leaned towards her and kissed her lightly on the mouth. Brianna blushed and turned away, whispering something to him. He gently and lovingly took her chin in his hand and turned her face to his and kissed her again on the lips. Kel blushed at having witnessed such a scene and turned to leave. In doing so, she stepped on some straw, which crackled beneath her shoes. Quickly Brianna snatched her hands away and they both turned to face the intruder. Kel stood, rooted to the spot. Brianna's expression went from surprise, to fear, to anger.

"You will tell no one of this." she said fiercely to Kel, walking over to her. Kel nodded.

"Why is it such a fuss if the Daughters know about this?" The man asked her. "I was planning on requesting your hand from your father soon. Why should it matter, it's not as though we were caught in an indiscretion. Do you not love me as I love you?"

Brianna turned back to him, ignoring Kel, "I love you dearly, but the Daughters of the Convent only see a man who is taking my innocence away without being my husband or betrothed. Their rule is that a lady is kissed on the cheek only by her betrothed and on the mouth only by her husband. They do not understand that you were not planning anything more than a small kiss." she took one of his hands in hers. "I do love you and I am waiting for my father to give his consent, but I do not wish to anger the Daughters or give up my innocence so lightly."

She smiled at him and he smiled back, though Kel saw that his eyes had become harder and colder from her comment. He stroked her cheek with his thumb and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek. "Then I will not give you reason to do either." His voice was kind, but Kel heard a tight edge to it. "i love you Brianna and I will wait for our wedding night to touch you." He nodded to Kel and left the stables.

Brianna gave Kel a cold look and stalked from the stables, brushing past the other girl roughly. Kel turned to leave, but from the corner of her eye saw the blonde hair of Tanwyn of Sebell flash from the stable loft. She had seen the entire affair. Tanwyn knew that the encounter had not been anything of significance: nothing grossly wrong, but Kel knew that Tanwyn would twist everything to the Daughters to get Brianna in trouble. The blonde girl was vicious and competitive when it came to finding men, and knew that she could not compete with Brianna's warm red brown curls, porcelain skin, and deep blue eyes. Kel hurried from the stables and caught up with Brianna.

"He doesn't love you." It was strange to hear her own voice. She spoke so rarely, and never to the other ladies that the sound of her own voice had become a foreign sound to her.

"What?" Brianna said, looking coldly sideways at Kel, "Of course he loves me, we will be married."

"He doesn't." Kel insisted, "I saw in his eyes when you swore not to lose your innocence to him. He was angry. And he was lying when he said that he would give you no reason to. All he wants from you is a pretty face."

"You're wrong Lady Mindelan. You're wrong." Tears were threatening to fall from her glistening eyes and she was all but shouting at Kel. "You don't know what you're talking about. You've never had someone to love you, and just because you haven't does not mean that you have he right to devalue the love of others around you."

Kel shrugged. She had learned communication tactics from her father while they lived in the Yamani Islands and she knew how to deal with a stubborn emotional person like Brianna. She only had to place doubt in the girl's head and she would not be hurt.

"If you're right, then he goes straight to your father now and demands your hand in marriage. You marry and live contentedly for the rest of your life. If I'm right, which I believe I am, then he will profess his love for you until you fall for him and give yourself to him. Then after he's satisfied, he makes an excuse about how he cannot marry you and leaves for ever. We will wait to find out who is right." She said lightly, as though talking about the weather.

Brianna looked thoughtful for a moment then turned away from Kel. "Please don't tell anyone what you saw." Her voice was cold, but softer than before.

"I won't." Kel sped up her pace and began to walk away from Brianna, "But Tanwyn might." Brianna froze and Kel continued to the Convent, not looking back at the shocked girl standing still in the middle of the grounds.

oooooooooooooooooooo

It took only two weeks for Kel to find out what had happened with Brianna. In the days following their encounter, Brianna had avoided her, and sent her contemptuous looks during lessons. Kel inwardly sighed. She only wanted Brianna to not get hurt by the man.

One day she was walking back from her etiquette lesson, a lesson which Brianna had not attended, when Tanwyn almost knocked her over, hurrying in the other direction. She heard a shout, a scream and a man's voice speaking loudly. Quickly, Kel ran toward the sound. It was coming from Brianna's room.

When she arrived, she looked in and froze in shock. The Second and Third Daughters were in the room shouting incoherently at an unclothed Brianna, hastily clutching a blanket to her chest and the man whom Kel had seen previously, also unclothed. They were both shouting back at the Daughters, creating a loud senseless crash of voices. Hastily the man found his clothes and dressed. He threw a shift to Brianna, who donned it and stood up. The Daughters calmed down, seeing them both with clothes on and not naked.

The First Daughter came into the room behind Kel and a handful of other girls who were watching. "What is the meaning of this?" her voice thundered, "Lady Brianna please clothe yourself adequately and sir I ask you to leave now." The man needed no further encouragement to sprint eagerly from the room. He ran down the hallway and out of sight. The First Daughter turned to the audience of girls. "Please would you ladies go to your lessons and do not ask Lady Brianna of this." She phrased this as a request, but all of the girls knew that the Fist Daughter was ordering them.

Before the door to the room was closed, Kel caught Brianna's eye. She looked at her sympathetically; the other girl blushed and looked at her feet. Kel smiled and left for her embroidery lesson.

The next day, Kel was once again walking aimlessly around the convent when she ran into Brianna at the gates. The girl was in her travelling dress and a servant was carrying her trunk beside her. Kel smiled sympathetically. Instead of turning away haughtily like Kel expected her to, Brianna smiled back and walked over to her.

"You were right, Lady Mindelan." she said softly.

"About what?"

"He told me today that my father had refused to grant him my hand in marriage. He said that he had to leave on a mission for the Crown and that he would not be returning. When my father arrived to take me home I confronted him." Brianna's voice quavered. "he had not asked for my hand at all. My father told me that had he requested it, we would have been married. You were right, he lied to me just to take my body for himself and leave it afterwards. Now I will be sent home in disgrace. Thank you for the warning even if I did not heed it. You are a wise woman Lady Mindelan." she curtsied to Kel and bowed her head. "Now I must take my leave. Good luck with your studies, and may you find a good husband." she then turned to leave.

"Wait," Kel said, "What was his name, this man?" Brianna paused.

"Joren." she sighed, "His name was Joren of Stone Mountain." With a last curtsy, Brianna left the Convent.

Kel's ears rang with the sound of the name she had just heard. She was so shocked that it never crossed her mind that for once a lady from the Convent had treated her with anything other than cold disdain. _Joren_, she thought, _How did I not recognize him when I saw him?_ She wondered for a moment at her own memory. How could she fail to recognize the boy who had made her life as a page miserable?

It hit her then how long a time she had been away from the palace. Things change and people change in six years. She wondered whether she would even recognize her friends when she saw them again. After another minute in thought, Kel returned to the Convent.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Kel was jerked back to the present from her musings as she saw the door to the Chamber of the Ordeal fly open and Neal's half ragged form tumble into the Chapel. Many people around her stood up to see how the young heir fared.

Kel stood up, not noticing that she held her breath.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:**

**Not a very long chapter, but I felt that I wasn't giving enough flashbacks. I mean the whole point of the story is that Kel is still affected by the memories of the Convent, but I wasn't giving her any memories. I find also that I'm sorta running out of ideas for things to happen to her at the Convent. I don't want to repeat myself, and there is no significant event in either Page or Squire that she needs to escape in order to do. If anyone has any ideas for stuff that could have happened to her at the Convent, then that would really be very helpful to me.**

**I don't know if I ever asked this question, but no one answered me. I've seen in quite a few Kel fanfictions that she has an eldest sister named Patricine (?). I don't remember this character from the books, but she's recurred in enough different stories that I'm wondering. Is she fictitious or an actual character?**

**Thanks a lot all of my reviewers. I'll get this posted soon as I get back.**


End file.
